I realized in the fourth grade that I could type a lot faster than I could write, and since I was an crazy avid Star Trek: The Next Generation nerd fan, I was certain we would all be using PADDs by the time I was 20. So, I expected that handwriting would be soon irrelevant anyway, and at some point around that time I gave up on trying to improve my handwriting. Unfortunately, here we are more than 10 years after my 20th birthday, and even iPads are still few and far between. Technology just hasn’t been able to completely replace a good old-fashioned pencil and a piece of paper.

Unfortunately, my overly optimistic view of the technology of the future?aka, my excuse to be lazy?caused me to have horrendous penmanship. Because of my tendency to etch out chicken-scratch worthy of submission to the Prescription Hall of Fame* I tend to prefer using a pencil over its more inky cousin. While pencils do have the advantage over the vast majority of pens on the market because they are erasable, they offer more tactile resistance on paper, and they can be used in zero Gs without lengthy and highly expensive research and development, they also have some drawbacks. Traditional wood pencils get thick and dull within moments of sharpening them. (Oh, the memories of waiting at the front of the class while everyone was sharpening 10 No. 2 pencils just to make it halfway through a standardized test in high school.) Mechanical pencils are slightly better; at least you don’t have to go to the front of the classroom to sharpen them. However, the lead has to be constantly lengthened while writing, and the lead tip constantly breaks off. (I accidentally stabbed my best friend in 3rd grade with a mechanical pencil. I think he still has lead in his arm.) Also, in both styles, the pencil must be continuously rotated while being used, or the tip of the pencil will become an ugly wedge of lead that gets flatter and flatter until it breaks off.

Fortunately, someone at Mitsubishi Pencil Company saw these problems, and came up with a solution: the uni?ball Kuru Toga. Here’s what makes the Kuru Toga different from every other mechanical pencil: it sharpens itself! Every time the lead touches the paper the pencil rotates and sharpens the lead a tiny fraction of a millimeter. This keeps the pencil tip at a nice, sharp point instead of the wedge that I described earlier. Also, grounded up nano particles of diamonds, unicorn horns, and fairy dust are blended with the lead to make it harder to reduce breakage. (Just kidding about the unicorn horns and the fairy dust, but I’m serious about the diamonds!) In my testing I could not break the lead under normal usage, and I had to extend the lead almost an 1/8 of an inch before I could break the lead under force. That’s pretty darn tough, if you ask me.

If you haven’t heard of the Kuru Toga before, I’m not surprised. Strangely enough, most retail stores in the United States still do not carry this wonderous device. I suspect that is because the Kuru Toga retails for $8-20, which is a decent price for such a remarkable piece of equipment, but insanely expensive when compared to the 24 pack of BIC Mechanical Pencils priced at $6.48 at Wal-Mart. Fortunately, you can pick up an uni?ball Kuru Toga for a little under $8 on Amazon. I would recommend picking up about 5 of them. I’ve already sold the first 3 I bought to my coworkers when they tried to steal mine.

*^{This is a real place. We used to post the worst offenders in the back room of the pharmacy I worked at when I was a teenager.}

The uni?ball Kuru Toga